Deadpool: Madness brought to Bleach
by StoryWriterGuy
Summary: After landing on a different universe yet again thanks to Eidolon, Deadpool has to find another way home, but it's just become an arbitrary task at this point. Deadpool will keep trying to get laid with some form of success, Eidolon will punch him whenever he goes too far, and they both will stay in their home when they've got nothing to do.


I know there's been a very long absence for me. It's been about what four months right? I don't know. One thing I do know is that I'll keep spitting these chapters just not as frequent. I am in college and I really don't have time for stuff like this. So as a result, writing chapters are going to be incredibly slow, but whenever I have around an hour or 30 minutes to spare I'll definitely update my chapters. This is chapter that continues from a different story, you don't have to read it for everything to make sense. That's all I have to say, continue with the story.

"How is it possible someone has that amount of power?" The woman known as Yoruichi asked. She let her shield dissipate, she wiped the sweat from her forehead and stood up.

"This is a real problem, that thing is going after Ichigo." The man in the straw hat, and blonde hair known as Kisuke Urahara said.

"I'm going after it." The man with the scar, known as Kenpachi said and sprinted off with the pink haired girl known as Yachiru riding on his back.

"He's going to get himself killed." The man with the pink kimono known as Kyoraku said.

With Deadpool and Eidolon…

Deadpool walked alongside of Eidolon, they both had said nothing the entire time. Until Deadpool brought up the previous world they had been in.

"So that's it? We're just gonna leave them behind without saying goodbye?" Deadpool asked.

"We fixed their zombie problem, it's time they took care of themselves. Let's see what this world needs help with…" Eidolon said. His voice had become more rough and cosmic like. He spoke a little slower and more clearly. Deadpool on the other hand had an aura emanating from around him that seemed to flare at random moments.

"Let's go up there." Deadpool said pointing towards the cliff with the huge door that seemed to lead nowhere but off the cliff.

"Y'know, us getting all of these powers, reminds me of that guy from Infamous, what was his name? Del...something...well you see I read this thing on tumblr, not sure if a guy or girl wrote it. I quote 'I've finished Second Son and I can now confirm that I have a huge attraction to Delsin Rowe. His sarcasm and witty charm just make me swoon and his handsome good looks just make me wanna get in bed with him and do all kinds of naughty things as well" Deadpool said reading from his phone.

"Are you gay?" Eidolon asked.

"What? No! Not that there's anything wrong with that, you do you, and I do me. I wonder what sex with me would be like…" Deadpool said.

"Ok. Stop talking, and let's get to the damn door." Eidolon said.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Kenpachi said running and stopping in front of Eidolon.

"Good luck with that." Eidolon said, as he and Deadpool teleported in front of the door. Eidolon using his hocus pocus, magic houdini, sometin or whateva powers, opened the door and stepped inside. Inside is what seemed to be an endless hallway, with purple jizz everywhere. (Whoa! how did that get there?) (Look we're finally back, after a long silence in the previous chapters.)

"What were you guys doing?" Deadpool asked.

(We got tired and decided to go into the deep web that is your brain.)  
 **(It's pretty messed up in there.)**

"Glad to have you guys back, it's nice to listen to one logical side of Deadpool." Eidolon said. All of a sudden a whirring could be heard from behind Deadpool and Eidolon. Deadpool turned around and the moment he saw it, he began to run like a mad- craz-...Fast. He began to run as fast as he possibly could. Eidolon noticed it and casually attempted to teleport, but couldn't. He began to panic and noticed that whatever that thing is, it was right behind him.

"Oh, Fuuuuuuuuck." Eidolon said and was swallowed up by the thing. Deadpool yelped and began to run even faster than before. Deadpool began to see a light ahead of him, the scene transitioned to a side scroller with Deadpool jumping over gooey obstacles and Eidolon behind him acting as a chomper, eating everything in his way. After Deadpool finally passed through the light the words in bold, colored yellow, and retro like appeared saying 'Level Complete'. After Deadpool made it out, Eidolon popped out from a door mid air. The door quickly closed behind him. Eidolon landed on his face and proceeded to get up. Deadpool's eyes began to move left to right, his head turned to face every direction, as he observed his surroundings, he noticed a little shop to his left that said 'Urahara Shop'. Eidolon followed Deadpool's lead and walked toward the shop the moment Deadpool began to walk.

(Hopefully they sell Chimichangas!)

 **(Sorry to break it to you, but this place doesn't look like good 'ol America.)**

"I'm hungry, do you have any idea how long it's been since I've eaten?" Deadpool said. Eidolon smiled, thankful he didn't need to eat.

"What do plan on getting? A bowl of rice?" Eidolon asked.

"Ha. I get it." Deadpool said.

"What?" Eidolon asked. Deadpool forgot Eidolon hadn't even been to Japan or America. Hell, everywhere! So he didn't know about anything like religion, racism, politics, etc. After finally reaching the shop, they encountered a red haired boy, he seemed to be talking, something along the lines of 'it's your turn and 'you never do any work'. They noticed Eidolon and Deadpool walking up. They quickly noticed the mask that Eidolon was wearing and began show signs of nervousness.

"Sup kiddos! Uh...what do you guys exactly sell? In fact anything will do, I'm starving!" Deadpool said.

"Well we do have some Sushi and candy if you'd like some." The girl said.

"Follow me." The red haired boy said. Eidolon followed behind Deadpool, he glanced around the room, for anything that might interest Deadpool.

"By any chance do you guys have Chimichangas?" Deadpool asked.

"Sorry we don't." A man with one of the most epic mustaches said.

"Whoa! That mustache! It outdoes Hitler's!" Deadpool said.

"Who's that?" Epic Mustache Man said.

"Well, During World War II he was the reason there was an extermination, or death, camps were established for the sole purpose of killing men, women, and children. In the most notorious camps - Auschwitz, Treblinka, Sobibor and Majdanek in Poland, Buchenwald and Dachau in Germany - more than 6 million people, mostly Jews and Poles, were killed in gas chambers. Millions of others were also interned during the war, and a large proportion died of gross mistreatment, malnutrition, and disease." Deadpool said.

"Oh, sorry. I accidentally knocked over some candy." Deadpool said. He picked up two bars of candy with labels in japanese and placed them back.

'Now I remember why I like you.' Eidolon thought, smiling under his mask.

"Anyway whatta do ya gotta?" Deadpool asked. It was a rhetorical question since he walked away and began to look around, he noticed there were rooms in the back.

(It's probably where they chill.) Eidolon sat down in a corner and waited for Deadpool to finish his shopping.

"Hey, Eidolon." Deadpool said.

"Yea?" Eidolon asked.

"Ha! That new voice of yours sounds cool. How come you don't eat anything? Besides the whole not needing to eat. I mean you can eat, right?" Deadpool asked.

"Honestly, I don't need to because I think food tastes boring." Eidolon said.

"So you hate food then?" Deadpool asked.

"There is one exception, I enjoy eating apples at times." Eidolon said.

"I'll buy these." Deadpool said. The man went behind the counter and put Deadpool's items in a bag he waited for Deadpool to pull out the money. Until Deadpool realised he had no money.

"This is awkward, but I seem to have no money on me." Deadpool said. He patted his legs and butt trying to show he didn't have any pockets.

"Idiot. Here." Eidolon said, he made a 'giving' motion and money appeared in his hand. Eidolon looked at the man who looked shocked.

"Don't worry it's exact change." Eidolon said. The man nodded his head. After Deadpool had taken the money from Eidolon and gave it to the man, he grabbed his candy and began to head out with Eidolon following closely behind. Eidolon used the same motion again and gave money to the two kids. The red haired boy was more than happy to take it.

"Aren't you generous." Deadpool said. Eidolon stayed quiet and followed Deadpool throughout the place visiting stores that sated Deadpool's appetite. Eidolon and Deadpool came across some white creature that was chasing a woman. However people around them didn't seem to care and in fact acted as if the creature and women didn't exist.

"I'll handle this." Eidolon said. He teleported in front of the monster and looked at it. Without moving Eidolon had sliced it in half vertically. The monsters two parts fell to the side, creating a gust of wind.

"Thank you so very much!" The woman said. She bowed to Eidolon, grateful that he had saved her life

"No problem, now go find somewhere safe." Eidolon said. The woman ran off and turned a corner. Eidolon's stomach began to churn, he placed his hand at his on top of his stomach.

"You gotta let me see all of those powers you have." Deadpool said. Eidolon suddenly had the urge to eat. Not food but the monster that hadn't disappeared yet. Eidolon crouched down near monster, lifted his mask slightly, and bit into it's skin. He was then surprised, that it tasted so good. He kept eating and tore into the flesh of the monster, blood began to drip from Eidolon's mouth. You could hear the slurps and gulps. After he had finished feasting on the arm of the monster, Eidolon wiped his mouth and looked at Deadpool.

"Wow, Don't know what say…" Deadpool said, looking around awkwardly.

"I don't understand…" Eidolon said.

"It's this mask. Deadpool, when did you take yours off?" Eidolon asked.

"It came off shortly after I got it. My healing factor rejected it." Deadpool said. Eidolon removed his mask completely and looked it at. It didn't have a mouth any was colored pitch black, with a dark purple smokey aura, that came from inside. The eye sockets were narrow like mosts if his masks. Eidolon suddenly had the urge to throw up, he put his head down and placed his hands on the ground, he vomited a black substance with traces of blood on it. Deadpool looked at Eidolon and noticed his bloodshot, pupiless eyes.

"That monster didn't sit well with your stomach, huh?" Deadpool said. Deadpool grabbed the mask and attempted to put it on, when he tried the mask rejected Deadpool and forced itself next to Eidolon, who grabbed it and put it on.

"It's funny, in almost every battle, you somehow break your masks, and end of pulling a new one from out of nowhere. But this one looks like it has no intentions of leaving your side." Deadpool said.

"Well, let's start looking." Eidolon said.

"Ah, right. Our HQ in this town. Let's look for the most luxurious one." Deadpool said. Eidolon quickly located a high end home for sale. Luckily for them, the owner of the property was there doing checkups, Eidolon approached the woman.

"This property is ours now." Eidolon said.

"What?" The woman questioned.

"I said. This property is ours now." Eidolon said in a smooth, quiet, and calm tone. The woman suddenly became less tense and stared emotionlessly at Eidolon.

"This property is yours now." The woman slowly said.

"Everything will be paid for free." Eidolon said.

"Everything will be paid for free." The woman repeated.

"Good, now go suck a dick." Eidolon said.

"Ha! What the Hell?" Deadpool said. The woman obeyed Eidolon, walked away and approached the nearest man and attempted to pull down their pants. In the distance you could hear a man yelling and begging for help.

"Why'd you tell her to suck a dick?" Deadpool asked.

"If it was a guy, I would've said the same thing. Either way someone gets humiliated." Eidolon said. After stepping inside the home, Eidolon located the nearest couch and sat on it. Grabbed a remote, turned on the TV and started flipping through channels.

"Sweet! They have a indoor Jacuzzi!" Deadpool said. He closed the door behind him, the sounds of belts rustling, and weapons falling on the ground could be heard, shortly after an audible sigh from Deadpool was heard. Eidolon kept switching through channels and realised that TV was boring and looked around the house some more, besides the luxurious beds, chairs, huge TV's and paintings hanged up the place looked normal.

"Deadpool, I'm leaving to look around this world some more." Eidolon said.

"K! Go eat some more monsters." Deadpool said. Eidolon left the house and began to search this world. He realised later on that this town was called Karakura Town. He didn't find anything interesting, until he found a hollow near a school. Eidolon had the urge to eat again, The hollow seemed to be staring at a window. Eidolon approached the monster and knocked it onto the ground and restrained it. Eidolon began to walk around the monster and observed it. Eidolon got too close and the monster chomped on Eidolon's foot and tore it off, and ate it. Eidolon's leg instantaneously regrew along with his clothes. So these things eat people. However that didn't explain as to why Eidolon has the urge to eat this monster and not other people. He didn't understand, but this monster wasn't really helpful. Eidolon let the monster go, and the moment he did, it attempted to eat Eidolon. However Eidolon grabbed it's teeth with his two hands and ripped the monster in half and then blasted the body into nothingness. Eidolon headed back home, disappointed he didn't find much.

"Honey, I'm back." Eidolon said as he entered the house.

"How did the interview go?" Deadpool asked coming out from a room.

"They rejected me straight away." Eidolon said.

"There's always next time." Deadpool said. Eidolon and Deadpool looked at each other and began to burst into laughter as they could no longer take this seriously. After their laughter began to settle down, they did their own thing.

"Kill anything?" Deadpool asked, as he sat down on the couch.

"Another Hollow." Eidolon said. Deadpool didn't say anything and kept flipping through channels. Deadpool began to watch what appeared to be a children's show. Upon closer inspection it actually was about cute little animals being brutally killed in any way possible. After a couple hours later Deadpool had fallen asleep, it was somewhere around nighttime and Eidolon thought to himself, that he should least go around killing hollows to waste some time.

The Next Day…

CRACK!

"Hmm…?" Deadpool wiped the drool off from his mouth and put his mask back on, he pulled out his katana, and approached the door slowly. He waited near the door for someone to break in, he realised that the sound came from a broken window. Eidolon came out from a different room and picked up what appeared to be a baseball. He opened the door and found a teenage girl, with a baseball glove in her hands.

"This is something you would see in a movie, the really old adult gets mad at the teen for breaking his or her window. Except in this case you're the freak Eidolon." Deadpool said.

"You're one to talk." Eidolon said. He returned the ball back toward the teenager and her friends. He looked at the window and quickly fixed it, the pieces of glass formed perfectly back together on the window. The girl and her friends stood there speechless, the teen looked at Eidolon cautiously, he seemed like an OK person

"Ichigo needs to meet this guy." The teenager thought.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I show you something." The teenager said.

"Alright, My name is Eidolon, and that's Deadpool." He said pointing.

"Hi ho!" Deadpool said waving his hand. Although these guys seemed strange, it was nothing the teen hadn't seen before.

"The names Tatsuki." Tatsuki said.

Gonna end the chapter there, hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter leave your comments, questions, and concerns below. While you're at it make sure to follow me on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter! I actually don't have any of those, but you can still leave your comments n'shit.


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